listen, so. here is what this is.

I am a 22 year old Bengali female, who was born and raised in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. My parents were born and raised in Bangladesh. This combination has added to the formation of what I spent ten years thinking, was a frustratingly unique identity. Western TV and its accompanied arts have very obviously come to shape my entire identity - and yet, nothing makes more sense to me then the smell of curry and dhal. And I spent years, convinced, my sister and I were the only brown kids in the entire world (can you believe that, the entire population of the world?), who existed in the framework that we just so happened to center in. What other Bengali girl could possibly have spent her time listening to The Cure?

And now, I very comfortably approach this "identity" with the word "we."

Blogging is a wonderful thing, and don't let the honesty of it, turn you away. What blogging essentially did for my 12 year old self, was actualize a safe place - a haven, in which a naive tween to teen girl, could express her stories with other anonymous, supportive, non-judgmental community members. I am not the first person to acknowledge this, or live it. In fact, there are many other spaces in which South Asian voices are not only encouraged, but catalogued, and distributed.

But for years, I didn't know about any of them. So here's to another one, kids.

Knowing what I know now - about the Internet (It is filled with strangers who appreciate honesty, and want to help), and being brown in a Western world (it is wonderful, horrible, and a reality, for even those who deny it to be), and about storytelling (it's just the absolute best) - I aim to encourage dialogue. Because I spent ten years in a sixteen year old limbo, certain I was the only one who was this way. Which is stupid. So stupid. Oh my God, is it statistically, objectively, negatively, just stupid.

As a note, I'd like to add that anonymity, is respected and understood. But please respect and acknowledge, that this is encouraged to be a public forum. We, with this shared identity respect, and understand the desire and necessity for privacy. Pseudonyms, (Initials), actual googable names - whatever, however, you want to sign your stories, is acceptable, and up to you. But your stories should be shared. Or more importantly, we should be talking to each other.

So send in your thoughts, stories, contemplations, whatever - on having been raised Brown in a Non-Brown world to:

butimbrown@gmail.com

We want to hear you.